LowLives Declares War On All That’s Dickish And Holy


These are dangerous days. The lunatics have seized the asylum’s intercom and, in response, the-powers-that-be (TPTB) have jacked up the amperage on the electroshock machine. The Beast is slouching toward Jerusalem and the centre cannot hold still long enough to win the face-off. The surveillance state now has more information on us than we do, so much that terrorists can now hide comfortably in the spillover. The left has gone right and the right has gone wrong and the only moderates are drinking or eating a bit less.

I can no longer stand by and watch the country I love, the country my mother’s vagina spit me into, descend into something more than mediocrity. Mediocrity is our birthright. To live in interesting times is a curse and so I vow, upon the sacred Beaver’s anal gland, to make a stand against excitement and the moronic acts that create it. The world is not a frat-boy competition and I refuse to follow TPTB on their drunken quest for exceptionalism or alcohol poisoning.

LowLives was created to give light and sound to the outerclass and it will continue to do so. Today, however, the ranks of the outer and under classes surge as the plutocrats and their fellow travellers attempt to make an end run around the feeble remains of democracy. I’ve heard the call and I will answer.

Beginning today, LowLives is a Webfolio (which is not a word but I like it so I’m using it anyway) dedicated to bringing you critical reviews of the “news”, the not-so-news, and the public pronouncements perpetrated by professional prevaricators including, but never limited to;

  • Politicians and their Enablers
  • The Musty Old Media
  • Prominent Twits and Bloggers
  • Fame Whores (Celebrities and other famous-for-being-famous folk)
  • Fiscal Vampires and their Moneyed Minions (the infamous 1%)
  • Faux Friendlies and Demagogues
  • Hypocrites and Hacks for Hire

It will be seasoned with a soupçon of amateur douche-baggery by dicks and dickettes lacking the decency to keep their moronic misadventures and misanthropy to themselves.

We will stand firm, nubile, and fulsome, against nihilism (right or left), violence, bigotry, execrable pop music, predatory capitalism, paternalism, sexism and its humourless anti-spawn of too-serious androgyny mongers, multi-camera sitcoms, bad science, bad logic, bad art, bad taste, theism, fanaticism, digital moralism (think about it), Gaiacide, ecophobia, homophobia, heterophobia, xenophobia, xenon lights, oil culture, rape culture, vermiculture (ich), wigglies, wiggers, and more …

We will be your jaded eyes and ears, the imaginary friend willing to rummage the dumpster for you. We will never let intimidation, lethargy, common law, or common sense suppress the truth, the truthiness, or anything we can milk for lulz or laurels.

We are fearless! We are Legion! We are possessed of a thesaurus!

I know I speak on behalf of myself when I say that we are all very excited about this change and that we are looking forward to the inevitable denigration.

Unabashedly yours,

~ Drakakis, (a.k.a Drak The Impaler)

Drak is a self-styled writer living in the 2nd coldest and 32nd most exciting capital city in the world. (Suck it, Ulan Bator!) He is semi-retired, or semi-unemployed, depending upon one’s perspective, and decidedly overqualified to be producing this drek.
Our current staff are strictly imaginary but, nonetheless, extremely talented and hard-working.
LowLives welcomes your donations. We are a non-profit organization (although not by choice) and provide receipts for tax purposes, even though they are completely worthless. We accept PayPal (soon, really) or cash in unmarked, non-sequential bills in plain manila or Vanilla envelopes.

About Drakakis

Street Poet scribbling to your tired, your poor, your huddled masses; the wretched refuse of your teeming shore, the homeless, tempest-tost ...
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